Today’s writing will be a bit different from what I normally post. If you choose to stop and read the words below, read them more like a transcript. These are the words I will be sharing on Facebook Live today (2/19/2018) around 7:30 or 8 a.m. Therefore (since this is a rough draft and written to be more speaking points) there may be more errors or some incomplete thoughts. Thank you for your understanding – Jennifer.
(10 pages – estimated speech time: 30 minutes)
I was going to talk about the 5 dimensions today, well, yesterday but I was at the church my husband attends listening to him give a sermon yesterday for the start of Lent, which was really good so maybe I’ll encourage him to Facebook live it again for others to see. Anyway,
Instead of the five dimensions, which I will probably end up incorporating in today’s talk somewhat I want to do an energy report, which I haven’t really done in a while. Part of the reason for that is that the energy patterns are really the same–for the most part:
- We have yearly seasons, which although they may have some fluctuations, are fairly constant.
- We have monthly rhymes with our moons, which actually affect us more than people realize – Counselor conversation 10 moons a month – no – but 4.
- We have daily rhythms – day and night.
- We have the moment to moment rhythms of our own beating heart.
Rhythms were at play on Wednesday, February 14th, 2018. I knew we were headed into a new moon cycle, which creates high pressure systems and also represents the subconscious. It was on this date that our own school counselor had made these comments to me around 1:50 p.m. I firmly believe that we are all connected and that vibrationally we all felt that “something was off in the matrix.”
I don’t watch the news. It’s not that I don’t want to face “reality” but it is that I choose to focus on positivity and the realm of reality I do have power to influence–myself, my family, the community in which I work, which is with school children. But that evening something was off, our own valentine’s day plans went to hell – there was such a negativity and oppressiveness that seemed to come out of nowhere, which my husband tried his best to counteract.
And even when I did hear of the shooting, I still tried to focus my power on positivity – I wrote a note and posted it on my own personal Facebook page about how it comes down to relationship every time, even in a New York Times Article, “Nikolas Cruz, Florida Shooting Suspect, Showed Every Red Flag,” by Richard Fausset and Serge f. Dovalski dated February 15, 2018 stated, “Paul Gold, 45, said he lived next door to the Cruzes in 2009 and 2010 and stayed in touch with Lynda Cruz over the years.
“He had emotional problems and I believe he was diagnosed with autism,” Mr. Gold said of Nikolas Cruz. “He had trouble controlling his temper. He broke things. He would do that sometimes at our house when he lost his temper. But he was always very apologetic afterwards.”
He added: “He would sometimes be hitting his head and covering his ears. One time, I sent him home because he was misbehaving at our house and he took a golf club and smashed one of my trailers.”
He said that Mr. Cruz at one point had gone to a school for students with special needs. “Kids were really picking on him and would gang up on him and beat him up a little,” Mr. Gold said. “They ostracized him. He didn’t have many friends.”
He said that Mr. Cruz’s mother had done what she could to take care of him, and that the two had an extremely strong bond.
“His mother was his entire life and when he lost her, I believe that was it for the boy’s peace of mind,” he said.
And there were people who tried to take him in and help him, but obviously it wasn’t enough to counteract the built up trauma he had accumulated by being labeled and bullied and by losing his strongest support system–his mother. As someone who has a son who had to watch his mother go through cancer, I can tell you what a huge impact that had on his psyche at the time and for years after. Yet, I am still here.
And to be honest, I purposely didn’t read any news articles or look up any TV or Youtube videos about it – because again, I am such a strong proponent of where you place your energy is what will show up in your reality and so I really wanted to focus on taking a tragedy and turning it around. And yet even though I consciously put it out of my mind subconsciously I could still feel a dark energy which often comes as a beings of light saying, “eat this, drink this, do this…you’ll feel better.” rather than turning around and facing and dealing with that which seemed to take away our personal power – either individually or collectively. And when something like what Nikolas did happens, it’s like setting off an atomic bomb of negative dark energy within the collective conscious–we all feel it. And again, even though I purposely choose not to read a single article about it, perhaps the fact that there was a minor school shooting threat scare in my own son’s high school on Friday, which caused ½ the student population to call home and have their parents come get them, caused this tragedy and dark energy to pop up into my consciousness–into the light of my own awareness.
Saturday I had a funky sleeping schedule. I stayed up and felt compelled to watch “Lovely Bones,” which I had been putting off or not even really interested in watching it due to the dark nature of the topic which is that a young girl was murdered and she is watching from “the space inbetween” her family deal with the aftermath of what had happened. And even though it was a dark subject matter I thought the film studio handled it very well, that even in this darkness there can be light and hope.
–describe the tree and kids scene can what I saw in my own head with Whitney Houston – The land of the creators.
– So I know it exists and we don’t have to die to get there, because I can so clearly see and feel it here and now. And I went to bed feeling happy.
Yet even with that knowledge – yesterday, Sunday dark energy kept popping up and even this morning I did not want to get up. I kept arguing with the energy that wakes me up saying to it, “who cares? Who cares about what I have to write or multiple dimensions? And for the first time, in a long time, I was afraid of sitting alone in the dark -which I do (and have done) every morning for years now. And that was a big red flag to me. And then, out of the darkness Pete’s Dragon’s “I’ll be Your Candle on the Water,” came floating to me gaining in strength and the words, “Just as she has always done.” wove themselves in between, which gave me enough courage and understanding to get up.
I’ve been a teacher who has had to deal with gang members and violence. I was a teacher during Columbine and 9/11. I have also seen local tragedies where three teenagers went down to the Mississippi river to have some typical teenage fun in a cave, not even realizing that the air in the cave had been depleted and so they lied down and went to sleep and never came home. And I used to get so frustrated with our administration who would tell us to go on teaching (almost as if) nothing had happened–business as normal. (with support on hand of course from our school crisis teams).
Yet when I had cancer and when I have experienced depression where the heaviness of the world seems to keep you pinned down to the bed and you can’t escape its gravitational pull, it were these five words that helped me, “Just as she always did.” Even this morning when I didn’t want to get out of bed and I was afraid to sit alone in the dark, that song, plus those words gave me courage to rise and as I did I realized I was supposed to write and talk about this topic. What do you do when the weight of the world, and a tragedy as large as this one happens? And that is where everything I have been writing about can help. Not for everyone. Not right away – not for the families who lost a child. But I think that is where us all being connected is so strong – I believe the consciousness is taking some of those bits and pieces of darkness and giving it to us all. And what I”ve been hearing God/Source say to me is “take that piece of darkness I gave to you, and break it up and show others how to do the same.” I can’t fix or break up the darkness enough for the families who suffered such a great loss. But I can take one peice of it and break it up and then another and another and another. And I can teach others how to do the same. And, over time, the toxic emotional landfill will become clean once more. And while the loss and memories of the children who were taken will never be forgotten a beautiful memorial can stand in its place rather than a land of ugliness and toxicity.
And that is where the habits I’ve been writing and talking about come in:
- We need to take back our own personal (and collective) power after a situation like this occurs – It’s not that I am ignoring that this situation happened, I am simply telling you that this situation will not place its power of fear over me.
- We need to set our intent and ask ourselves what tools will we need to start clearing up this toxic, emotional landfill? Empathy for the people who have lost, forgiveness (even for Nikolas), compassion for all those affected, vision for a better tomorrow Education, cooperation, and willingness to work together on how to make that happen – even if we disagree. The ability to show ourselves and others grace when we fail.
- The ability to reprogram ourselves and our society from one where tragedies (such as school shootings) continue to happen to a society where all people and students are safe.
- To go from ignorance about mental illness to understanding and compassion.
- To go from fear that guns will be taken away to some sort of cooperation and understanding as to how to best protect and provide safety for our children.
- Stay focused on what we can do, not on what we can’t. We can’t all agree on everything, but we can show each other compassion as we try to work out the best solutions. We can separate our personal feelings about specific people in order to stay focused on a common goal–the general well being of all.
- We can practice letting go–letting go of fear, of guilt, of blame.
- Will Smith: fault vs. responsibility.
- Empath – my feeling or another’s – it didn’t matter –
- Garbage on the floor in the classroom – it doesn’t matter
- I can’t control anyone, but I can control me and what I want to see in the world by being the change. And by doing so, I go back to habit #1 – take back my own personal power, which if we did as a society – could be so much more stronger in telling these tragedies – It’s not that you didn’t happen or exist, its simply that you will no longer have power over us. And, by the way, we’re coming for so that you won’t have power over us again.
Which leads me into – what does understanding different dimensions have to do with anything? Well…
Dimension #1 – is the space and place in which we get to choose (as individuals and/or as a whole society) a desired direction. It is the point of possibility. And I don’t know about you, but I choose to see myself living in a world where cancer and school shootings are as much a thing of the past as polio and chicken pox outbreaks.
The Second dimension then is the place and space were we actually choose, where we being to actually take action. I am choosing to take action though observing what I see in this world and reflecting upon it, and teaching about it to others. How will you choose to contribute to a better tomorrow using the God-given gifts you possess?
The third dimension is the point of impact where we can start seeing the influence using our gifts to make the world a better place is actually having. YOU make an impact! Start seeing and believing (if you don’t) that the world needs you! So show up and step up – if I can start coming out of my cave then so can you. You can start where you are with as many or as few people as you can. Just start and go from there.
The fourth dimension then is time. And it will take time–things don’t happen overnight. It will take time to heal from a tragedy such as this -and that’s okay. But how much time it takes to start “turning these situations around” is up to us – how many of us step up, speak up, and help out to make these changes happen. The fewer there are of us, the longer it will take. The more there are of us, the faster we can get out our better tomorrow.
The fifth dimension then is the land of energetic play. The place where we can try out various ways (in thought form) of how we might be able to solve complicated issues before we start putting those plans into action. And we need to understand that some of those plans will be awesome and have a huge impact, while others won’t – and we have to give ourselves permission for those attempts to be okay too – Karate Kid (again).
Which leads me into what I’ll be writing and talking about next week – the higher dimensions (6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th) were we can learn about parallel timelines and how we can continue the ones that are working, and being collapsing and reprogramming the ones that are not.
I hope that this message has inspired someone today, so that you can use it to inspire others.
Peace and Blessings,