In order to get an Inspired Vision for Parenting, I think we really need to be honest with ourselves as to why we want children, or how we got them in the first place. To know where you started from is to know where you are going.
In my experience and observation there are really only two states in which the decision to, or not to, have children arise from: subconsciously and consciously.
I believe most people are on automatic pilot and therefore have children subconsciously.
I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a society where the social script was go to school, fall in love, get married, have kids, and anyone who didn’t follow that social script was an outlier who was, more often than not, judged. Sometimes we just follow the social script so that we don’t have to deal with the loneliness of being ostracized.
Other times our own past childhood, and adolescent experiences created such suffering that it carved out such an empty, hallow feeling in our hearts that we feel the need to fill it with the love of a child.
Yet there are others who had the opposite experience. They were blessed enough to have such a positive childhood experience filled with love that they decide they want to recreate and share that experience with and for antother.
Having children, consciously, or subconsciously, often also creates a sense of purpose, something to live for. And many can’t deny the strong internal clock, that strong force that just seems to want to genetically reproduce either out of the need to survive or to simply allow each generation the chance to make their stories a better one.
No matter how your children came about, consciously, or unconsciously, I believe that in order to get an Inspired Vision for Parent, we must, from now on, decided to parent consciously. And to parent consciously, we must have knowledge. Knowledge of what stage our children are in, knowledge of the light, and shadow sides of parenting, knowledge of how to put in appropriate boundaries, while all at the same time teaching our children how to develop their own wings. Awareness of when we are placing our own fears, shadows, and desires upon our children vs. allowing them to tackle and get through and develop their own.
Join me over the next few weeks as I address these topics. Specifically next week, I’ll be addressing the various stages children go through.
Peace and blessings!